Professor Delphi has swiftly reacted to criticism over the Dan Leno Hologram fiasco that resulted in the creation of Joan of Arc by announcing that the History Maintenance Commission has approved of the launching of the Jacques Tati hologram to assist in Mission Boudicca and encourage her to rebel against the Romans in First Century Britain, writes Felicity Sheen, Hysterical News Agency Correspondent based in Buffalo, New York.
The top man at the History Maintenance Commission spared a few words to express his deep felt regret at Dan Leno’s inability to locate Boudicca and the subsequent impact his dabblings have had on history’s narrative, but understandably felt the onus was on him to now concentrate upon the positives of enlisting the iconic French Comedian and Mime Artiste, Jacques Tati in hologram form.
Tati was born in France in 1907 and died in the country of his birth 75 years later. Through his creation, Monsieur Hulot, an unremarkable looking man with his trademark mac, umbrella and pipe, he used his physical abilities and nuances with mime to highlight western society’s obsession with materialism by creating wickedly humorous absurd situations which displayed the impractical nature of modern technology and gadgets and the role they played in exacerbating the stresses of modern society.
He was also famed for his hilarious music hall mimes, particularly his sporting caricatures of goalkeepers boxers and cyclists. He was a perfectionist. For his film Playtime released in 1967, Tati went to enormous expense to build a massive concrete and glass cityscape on the outskirts of Paris. The film set was so large it became known as Tativille and consumed al the profits Tati had made from his earlier successful films.
‘We have instructed the Hulot hologram to highlight the absurdity of the native Britons in adopting the new technologies and mod cons introduced into their bronze age country by the industrious Romans,’ explained Professor Delphi. ‘Examples would include aqueducts supplying piped water to homes, concrete and also underfloor central heating for villas. This won’t only split Boudicca’s sides with merriment but create a huge gulf in her willingness to assist the Romans with her safety improvements to their road network. This will be a necessary step in persuading her to take up arms and rebel as history desires her to do.’
Delphi went on to highlight how Tati’s mimes of sporting characters could be adapted to include gladiators, chariot racers and athletes and the laughs derived from entertaining the Ancient Britons could infuse them with more zest to adopt Boudicca’s rebellious plans.
Reviews Supplied By Previous Purchasers of the Jacques Tati Hologram:
●●○○○ Utter Chaos, Anon, Bucks.
Sent Tati hologram to 122 AD and the building of Hadrian’s Wall, to ask The Emperor Hadrian some questions on art on his visit to the north of Britain. But, through his mimes he almost convinced Hadrian that there was already a wall there! Helluva task getting him to change his mind. The questions on art went by the wayside. Good for a laugh though but ultimately didn’t deliver.
●●●○○ Was OK, Derek, RI.
Sent Tati hologram back to the French Revolution to make some of his clever observations. But ended up being preoccupied with The Marquis de Sade who sought him out because he had heard that he had a store of gags.
●○○○○ Agincourt Nearly Abandoned Sylvia Hawkesborough, Dundee.
Thought it would be fun to have Tati at The Battle of Agincourt in 1415. But he nearly caused the whole thing to be abandoned as his mimes made it appear to Henry V that there was a strong wind against them making it impossible for his many archers to unleash their arrows. Fortunately, Henry V seen through it
●●●●● Perfect, Anna, Detroit.
Needed Tati to restore balance to my Great Grandmother’s life after she became a nervous wreck after watching Harry Houdini dangling from a lighted rope 150 feet above ground while trying to escape from a straitjacket. Tati did precisely that, through exhibiting his complete inability to escape from an invisible box of his own construction. He then produced a holographic bunch of flowers. Job done, my Grandmother no longer suffered with her nerves. Well done Jacques Tati and also Professor Delphi’s store of holograms. Thank You.